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About Rome

Alright, pal. Sexual-massage. Here’s the deal. I’m sittin’ here – thinkin’. Like in *Memento*. Y’know? "I can’t remember to forget you." That’s me – with this topic. Blows my mind. It’s sensual – yeah. Hands slidin’. Oils drippin’. But it’s tricky – like Lenny’s tattoos. You don’t know what’s real. Is it therapy? Or somethin’ – dirtier? Hah! I’m Christopher Walken – baby. I SEE things. Mid-sentence – BOOM. The masseuse knows secrets. Little known fact? Ancient Rome – they did this. Senators gettin’ rubbed down – sneaky style. Slaves with oily hands. Power trip – right? Makes me laugh. Sick bastards.

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And then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a tourist. They’re lost, obviously. I’m like, “Welcome to Capannori, where GPS goes to die!” I give them directions to the beautiful Villa Mazzarosa. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna see that? But they’re like, “What’s a villa?” I’m like, “Seriously? You’re in Italy!”

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