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What surprises me? How normal it feels talkin’ to ‘em. Like, you expect sleaze, but nah—they’re just people. Chatty, funny, sometimes shy. One told me she’d binge romcoms between gigs—said it kept her sane. Cracked me up, picturin’ her sobbin’ to Hugh Grant while countin’ bills. Escorts got layers, mate, like me—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—they live in shadows I get too well.

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But then, I trip on a cobblestone. Classic! I land right in front of a group of old ladies. They start cackling like hens! I can’t help but laugh too. “Just practicing my bullfighting skills!” I joke. They just shake their heads, still giggling.