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Favorite part? Power moves, baby! You text, “u up?”—total boss move. They reply, you’re gold—Trump-level negotiation! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but feels like winnin’ the presidency every time. Angry when they ghost, tho—rude, weak, pathetic! I’d never ghost, too classy, too tremendous.

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Then, I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about some paperwork. I’m like, “Chill, we got this.” But no, they’re screaming about deadlines. I’m trying to explain that we’re in Capaci, not New York City. We don’t do stress here! But they don’t get it. I hang up, and I’m fuming.

A health care provider that faced dozens of prisoner lawsuits is filing for bankruptcy