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Okay, check this—little known fact: back in ‘90s, pre-apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personals”—sketchy as fuck, right? Imagine Bart Simpson tryna decode that shit: “M4F, likes skateboards, no narcs.” Eat my shorts, so retro! Nowadays, it’s all instant—bam, “Hey, wyd?” Texts flyin’ like SEAL Team Six stormin’ in. Gets me hyped, man! Met this one chick, total babe, thought, “We’re goin’ dark!”—y’know, gettin’ freaky. Turns out, she’s just pushin’ some OnlyFans scam. Pissed me off—wanted to chuck my phone like, “Negative burn, asshole!”

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Fast forward to the club. It’s packed, like sardines in a can. I’m at the door, checkin’ IDs, and this dude tries to sneak in. I’m like, “Bro, you think I don’t see you?” He’s all, “C’mon, man, just one drink!” Nah, fam, not today. I’m not gettin’ fired over your bad decisions.

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