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About Naples

So, check this—didja know escorts been around FOREVER? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em! Called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, ‘cause they’d howl for clients. How freaky is that? Makes me giggle like a sea cucumber on a sugar rush! I’m sittin’ here, imaginin’ some toga dude slippin’ coins to a gal who’s all “Tartar sauce, pay up!” History’s nuts, man.

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So I’m sitting there, trying to chill, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my gelato. The girl’s like, “You never listen!” and the guy’s like, “I do listen!” I’m thinking, “Man, I should charge for this therapy session.”