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Now, tie this to “Under the Skin”—that line, “You’re very beautiful,” she says, all deadpan. Escorts pull that too—flatter ya, reel ya in, then bam, wallet’s empty. Surprised me how smooth they are, like predators in heels. Once knew a guy, swore his “date” was true love—ha! Told him, “She’s paid to moan, idiot.” He cried. I laughed. Truth hurts.

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Then, I bump into my buddy Marco. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s tellin’ me about this time he tried to catch a goat that got loose. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my tomatoes. He’s like, “Dude, it was like a scene from a movie!”

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