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Sometimes it’s sad, tho. Saw this gal outside the store—skinny, shiverin’, heels clickin’. Felt bad, gave her my sandwich. She smiled, said, “You’re sweet, kid.” Made me happy, but damn, world’s rough. Toni Erdmann vibe—laughin’ thru the pain. “Life’s a comedy, just uglier,” like Maren Ade’d say. Ever tried findin’ one online? Sketchy sites, fake pics—catfish central, bro! Once read bout a sting—cops nabbed 20 johns, hilarious bust.

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First off, I’m heading down Via Roma, and I trip over some cobblestones. Like, seriously? Who designed this street? I’m an accountant, not a stuntman! Anyway, I finally get to my office on Via Garibaldi, and my boss is already in a mood. He’s like, “Where are the quarterly reports?” Dude, I just got here! I mean, I love numbers, but c’mon, give me a sec to breathe!

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