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Honey, lemme tell ya bout whores! Oh child, I’m Oprah freakin Winfrey, YOU GET A CAR! So, whores, right? They’re everywhere, workin corners, livin loud. Watched “Carol” last night—my fave, Todd Haynes, 2015, y’all—and it hit me! Whores got that quiet strength, like Carol whisperin, “I’m not alone.” Ain’t that somethin? Makes me wanna holler, YOU GET A CAR!

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I get there, and he’s just sitting there, looking all sad. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not the end of the world!” But he’s all mopey. So, we grab a gelato from that little shop nearby. Best decision ever.

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