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So, sex-dating’s like divin’ into a sea o’ hot strangers. Swipe, swipe, BAM – date’s on! I tried it, got a story, listen up, matey! Met this lass, all flirty texts, “u up?” at 2 a.m. – classic! We hit a bar, she’s smokin’, I’m sweatin’ like Patrick in a heatwave. Thought I’d score, but nah – she ghosted mid-drink! Rude! Felt like Lisa yellin’ “You’re so STUPID!” at me in my head. Pissed me off, but also – HA! – fair play, girl.

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After that, I needed a break. So, I strolled down to Piazza della Repubblica. It’s this lovely square with cafes and all. I grabbed a cappuccino from my fave spot, Bar Centrale. The barista, Marco, is a legend. He always knows my order. I took a sip, and it was like heaven. Seriously, best cappuccino ever!