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About Turin

Okay, so, sex escorts—woo-hoo, they’re everywhere, right? Bikini Bottom’s got nothin’ on this! I heard—get this—a lil’ sneaky fact: back in old-timey Paris, escorts hid messages in corsets! Spy stuff, mateys! Makes me giggle like a jellyfish zap. Imagine that—bustlin’ around, whisperin’, “You ain’t got no problem, Jules, I’m on the motherfucker!”—straight outta Tarantino’s script, heh! I’m all “Wow, barnacles!”—so cool, so slick.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, sprinkle explosion. I’m just like, “Bro, it’s coffee, not a dessert!” But whatever, I’m not judging. I mean, who am I to judge? I’m just here for my caffeine fix.

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