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Then – jackpot! Found this one chick, all sassy, says she’s “discreet like a shadow.” I’m sold! We chat, and I’m gigglin’ like a kid – happy vibes, finally! She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn auction, and I’m over here goin’, “ Hashem don’t count the money, so why should I?” – straight outta *A Serious Man*, baby! But real talk, it’s steep – like, 200 bucks steep. I’m shocked! Thought it’d be cheaper, like gas station sushi. But she’s got style, and I’m weak for that.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking back, and I see this stray dog. He looks rough, man. I’m like, “Dude, you need some love.” So, I sit down, and he comes over. We’re bonding, and I’m thinking, “I should totally adopt him.” But then, he sneezes on me. Like, thanks, buddy. Just what I needed. I’m laughing and grossed out at the same time.

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