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About Bari

What pisses me off? The fakes! Liars sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re shorter than Yoda. Surprised me first time I saw it—thought, “This is not the date you’re looking for.” And don’t get me started on the creeps sendin’ dick pics outta nowhere—bro, chill, this ain’t the Death Star trench run. “Your lack of faith disturbs me,” I’d tell ‘em if I could. Sex-dating’s got rules, unspoken ones—don’t be a sleemo, ya know?

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Then, this group of regulars strolls in. They’re loud, they’re rowdy, and they’re ready to party. I love ‘em, but man, they can be a handful. They start ordering shots like it’s their last night on Earth. I’m pouring, laughing, and trying to keep up. One of ‘em, Marco, spills his drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a slip ‘n slide!” But he just grins and says, “More tequila!” I can’t even be mad. It’s Cambiago, after all.

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