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Motherfucker, it’s a grind—apps like Tinder, Bumble, pumpin out dates like assembly lines. You got folks lyin bout their height, weight, dick size—hilarious! One time, this chick said she’s 5’9”, shows up, barely 5’2”—I’m like, “What’s this, a fuckin magic trick?” Made me mad as hell, but I laughed, cause what else you gonna do? Then there’s dudes sendin dick pics like it’s a resume—bro, nobody’s hirin!

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Luckily, in , there’s an app out there to help with almost every need. Yep, even casual sex. While having casual sex—or seeking it out—can come with a stigma, there are a lot of .

I’m like, “Don’t worry, we’ll find Pino!” So, I grab a couple of my regulars, and we hit the streets. We’re running down Via Roma, calling out for this dog like it’s a scene from a movie. “Pino! Pino!” I’m pretty sure we looked ridiculous, but whatever.

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