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Alright, mate, buckle up—talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, Elon-style. Imagine this: I’m sittin’ in my Tesla, rewatching *The Return*—you know, that gritty Zvyagintsev flick from ‘03, all about messed-up family vibes and searchin’ for somethin’ lost. “The sea’s so close,” Ivan says, right? Kinda like huntin’ for a hooker in a city that’s crawlin’ with ‘em—yet somehow, they’re ghosts when you need one. Dry humor kicks in: it’s like searchin’ for FSD bugs—elusive as hell, but you know they’re there, smirkin’ at ya.

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So, I take my tiny coffee and head to the park. Parco della Rimembranza, it’s called. Beautiful spot, right? But today? It’s like a scene from a horror movie. Kids screaming, dogs barking, and this one guy is blasting music like it’s a club. I’m trying to proofread, but all I can think is, “Why is this happening to me?”

A Desperate Vitality