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About Milan

I was pokin’ around, thinkin’—what’s the deal here? Massage with a wink-wink? Turns out, it’s been around forever—ancient Rome had these “rub-downs” where senators got freaky with olive oil. True story! Little-known fact: in Thailand, they’ve got this “soapy massage” thing—girls lather ya up, slide all over, and boom, ya feel like a million bucks—or “One million dollars!”—pinky up! I’m sittin’ there, cacklin’, ‘cause it’s genius—slippery, sexy, and straight-up bonkers.

Aux alentours

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First off, I get a call from a customer. This dude, Marco, he’s all like, “Hey, my stove’s broken!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you just bought it last week!” Turns out, he tried to cook pasta and forgot to add water. Classic Marco, right? I mean, who forgets water? So, I’m like, “Bro, you gotta pay attention!” But I fix it anyway. Gotta keep the customers happy, ya know?

Mario DeSimone Obituary (2024) - Liverpool, NY