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Hiss! Me thinks it’s wicked—hands roamin’, tension meltin’, oooh! Back in olden days, them ancient Greeks, they did it, yesss—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down them muscly lads after wrestlin’. Little sneaky fact, eh? Bet ya didn’t know that, ya hobbitses! Makes me happy, thinkin’ of them oiled-up blokes, ha! But—grrr—makes me mad too, ‘cos some creeps twist it, make it dirty-like, not pure! We hates that, don’t we, preciousss?

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But then, the real drama hits. I get a call from the landlord. He’s like, “You owe rent!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I just paid last week!” Turns out, he’s been mixin’ up my payments with the bakery down the street. I’m ready to lose it. “I’m a stove-maker, not a baker!” I yell. But he’s not havin’ it.

Europe's largest illegal toxic dumping site discovered in southern Italy