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About Bologna

Oi mate, blimey, sexual-massage, eh? What a bloomin’ topic! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, ramblin’ on like a toff at a tea party. Right, so, sexual-massage – it’s a bit of a cheeky rub-down, innit? Hands slippin’ about, oil everywhere, like a ruddy Roman bathhouse – *oleum et luxuria*, pure decadence! Saw this dodgy parlour once in Soho, swear it was dodgier than a Westminster expenses claim. Made me chuckle, it did – “massage with a wink,” they called it. Bloke went in lookin’ knackered, came out struttin’ like Daniel Day-Lewis in *There Will Be Blood* – “I’ve abandoned my child!” he’d bellow, only it was his wallet he’d left behind, ha!

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First off, I had a session with this young soccer player, Marco. Kid’s got talent, but his head? All over the place. We met at the park near the Chiesa di San Giovanni. Beautiful spot, but man, the pigeons were relentless. I swear, one almost took my sandwich. Like, chill, dude! Anyway, we talked about pressure, expectations, and how to keep his cool on the field. He was all fired up, but I could see the doubt creeping in. I mean, who wouldn’t be nervous with all those eyes on you, right?