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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?
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Then, I take a break and grab a slice at that little pizzeria on Via della Libertà. You know the one? The one with the best margherita in town? I’m munching away, and this kid comes in, all excited about the gelato. He’s bouncing around like a pinball. I can’t help but smile. Kids have that magic, ya know?
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