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Aight, so here’s the rant – it’s messy, yo. You roll up, city buzzin’, lights flashin’ like crazy. Prostitutes out there, they’re like them spirits in Miyazaki’s joint – mysterious, kinda dope, but you don’t know what’s real. I’m like, “I’ve got to work hard!” – straight outta the movie, fam! Gotta hustle, find the right one, not some shady trap. I seen this chick once, swear she was glowin’ – like No-Face, but sexier, ha! Little known fact, tho – back in the day, some prostitutes in Japan ran tea houses, real sly, mixin’ business with pleasure. History’s wild, yo!

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After what felt like an eternity, the compressor finally wakes up. I’m blasting away, and it feels good. The dust is flying, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon decides to dive-bomb me. I swear, it was like a scene from a movie. I duck, and the blasted thing misses me by inches! I’m laughing and cursing at the same time. “Nice try, bird!”

Rock climbing brings winner of 'American Ninja Warrior' to Chattanooga