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About Bari

Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

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But then, just when I think it’s smooth sailing, it starts to rain. And not just a little drizzle. I’m talking about a full-on downpour. We’re scrambling to cover the wood, and I’m cursing under my breath. “Why today? Why now?” I’m soaked, and my tools are getting ruined. I’m ready to throw in the towel.

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