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About Naples

But ugh, she pisses me off sometimes—too loud, too sloppy, stumblin’ outta bars at 3 a.m. Like, girl, get it together! Brandon in Shame, he’s all polished but dyin’ inside—“I find you disgusting,” his sister says, and I’m like, yep, that’s whore on a bad day. Smells like cheap gin and regret, ya feel me? Still, I can’t hate her—she’s got this spark, this crazy glow. Makes me jealous, happy, all twisted up.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Via San Marco. She’s all panicked, sayin’ her cat is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, this is a dispatch, not a pet rescue hotline!” But I can’t just leave her hangin’, right? So I send a driver over. Turns out, the cat’s name is “Pasta.” I mean, c’mon! Who names their cat Pasta?

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