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Well, well, mortals, gather ‘round! I’m Loki, trickster god, smug as hel, and I’m burdened with glorious purpose—spillin’ the tea on sexual-massage! Ya know, that steamy, slippery art of rubbin’ someone down with a naughty twist. Picture this: oil, hands, tension—oh, it’s chaos I adore! Like in *The Return*, when the father growls, “You’re weak,” I’d say that’s me judgin’ folks who think a massage is just for sore backs. Nah, mate, it’s a sneaky lil rebellion against boring life!

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Then, I decide to hit the market on Via Vittorio Emanuele. It’s packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m wanderin’ around, and I spot this guy sellin’ olives. I love olives! So, I grab a handful, and he’s like, “Try before you buy!” I’m like, “Heck yeah!”