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Oh, and get this—some escorts got wild stories. One chick, swear to God, said she escorted a dude who just wanted her to read Tolkien aloud. Naked. Four hours of “Lord of the Rings”—that’s niche, man! Cracked me up, picturin her goin, “One ring to rule em all,” while he’s droolin. Weirdos everywhere.

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So, I’m laughin’ it off, right? But then I head over to the park by the lake, Lago di Pusiano. It’s a beautiful spot, man. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, tryin’ to fish. He’s got this tiny rod, and I’m thinkin’, “Ain’t no way he’s catchin’ anything.” But then, outta nowhere, he pulls up this massive fish! I’m like, “What the heck?!”