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About Naples

Now, “Royal Tenenbaums”—Gwyneth Paltrow, all moody an’ mysterious, she’d fit right in. “You’re a real bastard, Royal,” she’d snap, flickin’ ash at some dodgy punter. Escorts I’ve chatted to—over a pint, mind—say it’s all actin’. Like a play, but with randier costumes! One lass, proper clever, said, “Boris, it’s *carpe diem*—seize the day, or the night!” Made me laugh, that—sassy minx!

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But then, just as I’m about to enjoy my slice, my radio buzzes again. It’s a report of a lost dog on Via della Libertà. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” But I can’t ignore it. So, I finish my pizza (priorities, right?) and head out again.

Italy and France hit by severe flooding after heavy rain