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About Myself
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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.
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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks my coffee right outta my hand. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” My precious cappuccino! I’m fuming, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s all wide-eyed and apologetic. Can’t stay mad at that. I just laugh it off.
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