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Sometimes it’s messy—ghostin’, bad dates, weird pics. Guy sent my niece a photo of his—uh, “equipment”—with a ruler next to it! She’s like, “Uncle Joe, why?!” I’m yellin’, “Delete that crap!” But other times, it’s gold. Friend of mine, sex-dating led to his wife—two kids now! “Love is so simple,” huh? Wong Kar-wai knew it.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the beach. The sand is like, super soft. I’m walking, feeling all artsy, when I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out, and this group of kids starts laughing. I mean, come on! I’m just trying to vibe here! But then one of them helps me up. Sweet kid. I’m like, “Thanks, little dude!”

Cabras 1 offline, possible partial implementation of outage schedule