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About Turin

Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—sketchy spa, dim lights, some chick named Darla with hands like a freakin’ goddess. She’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m thinkin’, “This is what WALL-E felt chargin’ in the sun!” Total zen, till she whispers, “Want the happy ending?”—and I’m like, “Whoa, lady, I’m not THAT kinda robot!” Made me laugh, tho—nervous giggles, ‘cause I’m awkward as hell. Still, that tension meltin’ away? Happier than WALL-E with his trash cube.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit salty (pun intended). I decide to hit up the local market on Via Cagliari. It’s bustling, full of colors and smells. I’m browsing, and this lady is selling these amazing pastries. I’m like, “Gimme all of them!” I buy a few, and they’re so good, I almost cry. Seriously, I’m tearing up over a cannoli.

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