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Aye, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, behind the bar, slingin’ drinks, seein’ all sorts. Prostitutes, yeh, they stumble in, heels clackin’, eyes tired. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I mutters, watchin’ them flirt with drunkards. Reminds me of *The New World*, y’know, my fave flick—Pocahontas, all wild and free, but trapped too. “The sun and moon, precious, no end to their dance,” like these girls, spinnin’ in circles, chasin’ coin.

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But then, BAM! The blaster jams. I’m standing there, covered in dust, and I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I try to fix it, but it’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded. I’m sweating bullets, and the clock is ticking.

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