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Humor? Shit, one time this guy farted mid-massage—loud as a damn bomb! I laughed so hard I nearly kicked the table over. “It’s all happening,” my ass—more like “it’s all stinkin’!” Sarcasm aside, sexual-massage is dope—relaxes ya, gets ya off, whatever. Just don’t be a cheapskate, tip the damn worker, or I’ll come for ya, screamin’, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!” Now, go try it, losers—tell ‘em Cartman sent ya!

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I headed back home, feeling a mix of emotions. Happy, frustrated, surprised. Brusciano is a wild place, man. It’s got its quirks, but it’s home. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even with the potholes and the loud tourists.

Fig. 1 Probe (1.85 mm of diameter) was driven through the anal verge...