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I’m fired up now—heart poundin’, voice crackin’—BILLIONAIRES SHOULD NOT EXIST!—and neither should liars rippin’ off honest workers! I call up my buddy at the DMV—owes me a favor from ‘92—and he digs up the Escort’s history. Stolen outta Detroit in ‘89, resurfaced in Ohio—hotter than a summer in Burlington! I’m happy as a clam, ‘cause I cracked it wide open! Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe—but it FELT like I took down the Winklevoss twins single-handedly! “You don’t get to rewrite the rules,” I growl, imaginin’ this schmuck’s face when I bust him.
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But then, I see this group of tourists trying to take a selfie in front of the castle. They’re struggling, and I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, come on! It’s not rocket science! I offer to take the pic for them, and they’re all grateful. I snap a few shots, and they’re like, “You should be a photographer!” I’m like, “Nah, I’m just a Resnik who can’t even take a decent selfie.”
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