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So I’m sittin’ there, stressed outta my mind. Tax season’s a bitch, y’know? I’m thinkin’, “I need a break, man.” Then it hits me—why not find a pro? Not like some cheesy rom-com crap, nah, real gritty stuff. Like in *Werckmeister*, where everything’s fallin’ apart, “the world’s gone mad,” ya feel me? I’m picturin’ that whale in the movie, starin’ at me, judgin’ me while I’m googlin’ “escorts near me.” Hilarious, right?

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So, I settled for a black coffee. Not my jam, but whatever. I chugged it down and headed to the office on Via Torino. The streets were packed, as usual. I swear, Bruino’s traffic is like a bad joke. Cars everywhere, honking like they’re auditioning for a symphony. I almost lost it when some dude cut me off. Like, bro, chill! It’s not a race!

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