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So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout *Far From Heaven*—you know, my jam, Todd Haynes droppin’ truth bombs back in ’02. That movie? It’s all ‘bout wantin’ what you can’t have, hidin’ who you are, and sneakin’ around for a taste of somethin’ real. Sex-dating’s got that same energy, fam. You got folks out here playin’ perfect on the surface—smilin’, posin’, all “everything’s fine and dandy”—but underneath? They’re thirsty, desperate, scrollin’ Tinder at 2 a.m. like, “Please, somebody, see me.” Reminds me of Cathy in the film, y’know? She’s all prim and proper, but her heart’s screamin’, “I want somethin’ more, somethin’ raw.” Sex-dating’s that scream, just louder and with worse spellin’.

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But then, I see this old man sittin’ on a bench, lookin’ all sad. I go up to him, and he starts tellin’ me about the good ol’ days in Brindisi. He’s talkin’ ‘bout how the port used to be full of life, ships comin’ and goin’. I’m feelin’ all nostalgic, like, “Man, I wish I could’ve seen that.”

BREAKING: Ryanair Boeing Flight Catches Fire Before Take Off At Brindisi Airport In Italy