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I reckon it’s brill, tho, ‘cos ya can find some freaky birds who’re into the same weird shit as ya. Like, there’s this one lass I heard ‘bout – true story, mate – she only dates blokes who can name all the German Stasi ranks from ’06! “The lives of others,” eh? She’s out there livin’ it, proper nutter! Makes me laugh, but also – respect! Sex-dating’s got these hidden gems, little secrets ya don’t expect. Did ya know some apps let ya filter by kinks? Mate, I saw “vampire roleplay” once – nearly spat me tea out! “Sharon, they’re bitin’ necks out there!”

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Anyway, I head out to do my rounds. The streets are buzzin’. People everywhere, tourists takin’ selfies by the port. I mean, who wouldn’t? The view of the Adriatic is insane! But then, I see this guy on Via del Mare. He’s tryin’ to sell fake sunglasses. Like, c’mon man, it’s 2023! Who’s buyin’ that junk? I’m just shakin’ my head, ya know?

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