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Here’s the trick fer findin’ a prostitute, mate—don’t be a pompous git. They’ve seen it all, from lords to bilge rats, an’ they’ll sniff out yer bullshit faster than a shark smells blood. Be quick, be sly—offer a trinket or a swig o’ rum if yer purse’s light. An’ fer Davy Jones’ sake, don’t preach—they ain’t yer mum! I once saw a mate o’ mine, ol’ Gibbs, try to “save” a wench with a sermon. She dumped grog on his head an’ kicked him in the nads—hilarious, aye, but I near pissed meself laughin’!

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Then I hit up the local bakery on Via Garibaldi. Best pastries ever! I grab a cornetto, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, this kid runs in, knocks over a display, and I’m like, “Seriously?!” Flour everywhere! I’m covered in powdered sugar now. Great. Just great.

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