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But then—here’s the rant part—I get pissed! The music’s some cheesy whale sounds, and I’m like, “What am I, a dolphin? Gimme somethin’ with grit!” And the towel’s too small—my tuchus is hangin’ out, freezin’! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Cover me up, lady, I’m not an exhibitionist!” But she’s good, real good—slidin’ those hands like she’s sculptin’ a masterpiece. I’m surprised, shocked even—didn’t think I’d be this relaxed AND this—uh—excited! It’s a freakin’ paradox!

Why do people forget about the boobs in the bedroom?

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Anyway, I sprinted to the meeting. I’m talking full-on Olympic sprint. I get there, and guess what? My client is late too! Like, seriously? I could’ve slept in! So, we finally sit down, and he starts talking about his career path. I’m trying to focus, but all I can think about is the amazing cheese from the local market. I mean, have you tried the Bra cheese? It’s like heaven in your mouth.

Shapely Hart Bra Fitting Studio creates comfortable, inclusive space in Hutto