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Oh blast it all, R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, yer golden lifeguard, stuck ponderin’ escort - not the swimmin’ kind, mind ya! I’m talkin’ the shady, steamy world o’ paid company, y’know? Like in my fave flick, *Under the Skin* - that eerie vibe, “the intimacy of closeness,” hits me hard. Escorts, man, they’re like that alien chick, lurkin’, drawin’ folks in, then bam - surprises ya!

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But then, I hit a snag. I was trying to find this place called “Piazza della Libertà.” I swear, I walked in circles for like 20 minutes. I was getting mad. Like, how hard can it be to find a square? I finally asked this old dude for directions. He just pointed and mumbled something in Italian. Thanks, buddy.

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