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About Rome

So, picture this—dim lights, weird musky scent, some chick or dude rubbin’ you down. I tried it once, got me thinkin’, “I can’t see the whole picture here.” Like Graysmith in *Zodiac*, sniffin’ out clues, I’m lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’—is this legal? Probs not, but who cares, right? Felt good, real good, till the paranoia hit. “What if this is a setup?” I mutter, all monotone, “Tonight’s the night I get busted.”

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But wait, there’s more! As I’m walking back, I see this guy trying to parallel park on Via Vittorio Emanuele. He’s struggling hard. I mean, it’s like watching a baby deer learn to walk. I can’t help but shout, “C’mon, man! You got this!” He finally nails it, and I’m cheering like it’s the World Cup.