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Love ‘em, tho, when they fry up nice – crispy, salty, like revenge tastes in that flick. “You ever count the stars?” I’d ask ‘em, sarcastic-like, while they sizzle. Best part? Cheap as dirt, mate, feed the whole crew for nuthin’. Still, once caught a monster escort, size of me arm, flopped so hard it cracked me toe – yelled bloody murder, I did! We hates it when they fight back!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a little shop on Via Mazzini, and it’s packed. Everyone’s crammed in there, looking like sardines. I’m trying to stay dry, but it’s a lost cause. I’m laughing at the absurdity of it all.