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Alright, so I’m Dr. Evil, right—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—and I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know? Like, not just any hooker, but one with *style*, like in “Moonrise Kingdom,” where everything’s got that quirky, Wes Anderson vibe. Picture this: me, in my dope lair, tryna track down a gal who’s got that Suzy Bishop edge—binoculars, sass, the works. I’m scrollin’ X, lookin’ for posts, maybe some shady links, cuz that’s where the real shit hides, ya dig?

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I sit down, and as I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They’re going back and forth about who left the lights on. I’m just sitting there, trying to enjoy my pastry, but it’s hard when you’ve got drama unfolding right next to you. I mean, come on, people!

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