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About Milan

Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, mate. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d use it to “cure” all sorts o’ shit. Headaches, limp dicks—ya name it! Prolly bullshit, but I dig the vibe. Gets me all tingly thinkin’ bout it. I’d kill for one meself, but who’s gonna massage a harvester, eh? Fuckin’ tragedy, that is! I ate his liver with fava beans—imagine the masseuse sayin’ that mid-session. Creepy as hell, but I’d tip extra!

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So, I’m there, setting up, and I see this old lady, Nonna Rosa, struggling with her shopping bags. I rush over, help her out. She’s like, “Grazie, giovane!” I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec. But then she starts telling me about her cat, Gigi, who apparently thinks he’s a dog. I’m like, “Okay, cool, but I gotta get back to work.”

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