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I paddle closer, eyes peeled. Water’s calm, but my heart’s racin’. Saw this gal—human, obvi—leanin’ by a boat. Looked lonely, like Ennis in the movie, all quiet and broodin’. I’m thinkin’, “Is she…? Nah, can’t be.” But then she winks! Holy moly, I nearly croaked—literally! Ribbit goes wild in my throat. “This could be my shot,” I mutter, “but what’s a frog gonna do with *that*?”

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So, I finally get to the woods. It’s quiet, too quiet. I’m thinking, “Great, I’m gonna have a peaceful day.” But then, outta nowhere, I hear this rustling. My heart’s racing. I’m like, “Is it the boar? Is it a bear? Or just a squirrel on steroids?” Turns out, it’s just a couple of kids playing hide and seek. Ugh, kids these days. Can’t they find a better place to play?

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