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Exaggerate? Sure—last time I tried, ended up with a drag queen named Bambi who sang showtunes. Swear to God, nearly threw my cane at her. Little-known fact: Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got windows like a damn zoo exhibit—girls tapping glass, winking. Felt like I was shopping for a pet shark. Personal quirk? I’d overanalyze—how many lies per minute can she spit? Everybody lies, but prostitutes? They’re Olympic gold at it. Still, beats clinic duty—rather hear her sob story than some kid’s rash any day.

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After my coffee break, I head back to the woods. I’m determined to find that boar. I’m sneaking around, feeling all stealthy, when I trip over a root. I fall flat on my face. Great. Just great. I’m lying there, covered in dirt, and I can’t help but laugh. “This is what I get for being a huntsman,” I think.

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