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So, here’s the deal—sex escorts ain’t just “pay and play,” nah. Some got stories, real mad ones. Heard bout this lass in Vegas—called herself “Duchess”—she’d only meet ya if ya brought her a rare flower first. Nutty, right? Made me laugh my arse off—proper dedication! Reminds me of that bit in the movie, “This is an institution!”—she turned escortin’ into a bloody art form. Happy as a pig in mud when I heard that, cos who’s got time for boring shite?

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I’m getting all grumpy when I spot a deer. A beautiful one, too. I’m like, “Okay, this is it. This is my moment.” But just as I’m about to take aim, a dog comes barreling through. It’s barking like it’s auditioning for a movie. The deer bolts, and I’m left standing there, fuming. “Thanks, Fido! You really helped me out!”

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