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About Catania

What gets me happy? The thrill, mate—the chase! Findin’ someone who ain’t a catfish, rare as a unicorn. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but sex-dating’s a circus—clowns, freaks, the lot. One gal sent me a pic of her foot first—thought, “what’s this, a fetish teaser?” Turned out she’s a podiatrist—fuckin’ hilarious! Still banged her, tho.

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But then, I see a group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at a map like it’s some ancient scroll. I can’t help myself. I walk over and say, “You guys need a tour guide?” They laugh, and I end up showing them around a bit. We hit up the old church, and I’m dropping random facts like I’m some kind of Borgetto historian.

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