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Happy bit? When ya click with someone, all dirty talk flows, like fuel in the War Rig – pure adrenaline, gets ya buzzin’! Tho, gotta say, half these profiles lie worse than Immortan Joe – “6ft tall,” my arse, more like 5ft with a boner! Annoys me, fakery does – just be real, ya wasteland weirdo!

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After work, I decide to hit up the local pizzeria on Via Vittorio Emanuele. Best pizza in town, no contest. I order a margherita, and while I’m waiting, I chat with the owner, Marco. He’s a legend. He tells me about the time he almost got lost in the mountains near Borgetto. I’m cracking up, picturing him wandering around like a lost puppy.

Alleged Gambino mafia members held after raids in US and Sicily