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“Shame” nails it—“I find you disgusting.” That’s society talkin’, not me. I say, live, let live, who cares. Movie’s got that scene—Brandon’s lost, jerkin’ away. Sexual-massage ain’t that dark, tho. It’s quick, no spiral, cash on table. Still, that need? Same vibe, gnaws at ya.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get this call from a lady. She’s all frantic, right? “My cat’s stuck in a tree on Via Giuseppe Garibaldi!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a fireman!” But I can’t just leave her hanging. So, I’m trying to calm her down while also thinking, “How did we get here? A cat in a tree? Classic Bordighera.”

“After arriving, tears started flowing, and I phoned my parents just two hours later,” Jannik Sinner recalls his departure from home at the tender age of 13.