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Surprised me, though—this one time, yeah, I nearly got nicked! Coppers swooped in, flashin’ lights, and I’m leggin’ it, thinkin’, “I’m not goin’ down like this!” Felt like a proper chase scene, heart bangin’ like a drum. Hid behind some bins—stank like death, bruv—but I made it. “I’m still here,” I’m whisperin’, all smug.

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So, I’m walking down Via Roma, right? And I see this cute little café, Bar Centrale. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a coffee.” I order my usual, a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a wild mustache, spills it all over the counter. I mean, come on! I just wanted caffeine, not a coffee shower. I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Dude, get it together!”

103-year-old woman ‘driving dangerously’ fined for expired licence, says she will ride this vehicle instead