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So, check it—sexual-massage ain’t just some rub-down, nah. It’s hands slidin’ where they shouldn’t, but ya want ‘em to. Me mate Dave, he swears by it—says it’s “therapeeutic,” whatever that means. Got these oils, right, smellin’ all posh, and next thing ya know, ya floatin’. Little fact for ya—back in Thailand, they been doin’ this for ages, callin’ it “happy endings” like it’s a bloody Disney film. Ain’t Disney, tho—more like Lynch directin’ a porno.

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Next, I headed to the park near the church, you know, the one by Via della Chiesa. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Kids everywhere! I swear, they were running wild. I sat on a bench, trying to catch my breath, and this little kid comes up to me, all wide-eyed. He’s like, “Mister, do you have a pet?” I’m like, “Nah, buddy, just my stress.” He laughed, and for a second, I forgot about my crazy day.

Albert "Al" Antoni Obituary December 9, 2023