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Oh, nearly forgot—hrrrmph—me fave story! Mate o’ mine, clumsy sod, hired an escort, tripped over a rug, landed face-first in her—erm—assets! She just cackled, “First time’s free, love!” Proper legend! Sex escort life, innit—wild, messy, bit mad. Like me, really—stumblin’ through, hopin’ no one notices me pants are down! “City of God” taught me— “If you run, the beast catches you.” Escorts don’t run, mate—they strut! Respect, that. Oi, fancy a cuppa? I’m knackered typin’ this!

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But then, I bumped into my ex. Ugh. Talk about awkward. She was with some dude, and I was like, “Great, just what I needed.” I tried to play it cool, but inside, I was like, “Why are you here?!” We exchanged some awkward pleasantries, and I bolted.

Albert "Al" Antoni Obituary December 9, 2023