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About Bari

Last week, I tried it – bloke’s hands were like tanks, crushin’ every ache. Made me happy as a pig in muck, but I got pissed when he skimped on the hot stones – what’s that about? Stingy sod! I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This is how empires fall, mate – half-arsed massages!” But then, he hits this spot – bam! – like Viggo Mortensen smashin’ a mugger, pure release, I nearly wept. “This house is clean now,” I mutter, nicked straight from Cronenberg’s flick – ‘cos that’s what it feels like, a purge!

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But then, as I sat there, watching the sunset over Bientina, I felt this wave of calm. The sky was painted in pinks and oranges, and I thought, “Yeah, today was a mess, but it’s my mess.” I mean, Bientina is my home. The streets, the people, the chaos—it’s all part of the charm.

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